Living a Lie
by LuciousLadyLucius
Summary: What happens when Draco's parents die and he finds out that he was adopted. He struggles to find his real family...but what will he learn about himself. DHr
1. Alone

**Living a Lie**

**Chapter 1 - Alone**

_**Death Certificate**_

_**Name: **Lucius Abraxas Malfoy_

_**Date of Death: **30th August 1998_

_**Cause of Death: **Executed by killing curse on Ministry of Magic Orders_

_**Reason for Execution: **Murder, death eater activity and use of the unforgivable curses_

_**Signed: **Rufus Scrimgeour** Witnessed by: **Dennis Thornbridge_

**_Minister of Magic Registrar of Births and Deaths_**

Draco Malfoy's hands shook as he folded the certificate and the letter from the Ministry. So, they had given the go ahead had they? No warning to his Lucius Malfoy's family, they did not care that his son was only seventeen and his wife was dying. Scrimgeour just wanted to get rid of some of the imprisoned Death Eaters the easy way, just so it looked like he was getting something done. So that he would be kept in power. Draco took the documents into his father's study, the study that had been empty for over a year now and although it was regularly cleaned by the house elves it still possessed a strange emptiness about it. Draco put the letter in his father's drawer.

Suddenly, a house elf appeared next to him. "What is it Twinky?" asked Draco hoarsely, closing the drawer.

"Young Master, Mistress is asking for you?"

His mother had probably heard the owl who delivered the certificate hooting, and wished to enquire what the letter was about. What could he tell her?

"Very well" said Draco.

Narcissa Malfoy had always been a sickly woman but hid her illnesses to the best of her ability using her charm, her pride and of course her beauty. However, since Lucius Malfoy had been arrested Narcissa had to look after the house, the family treasury, Draco and do all the things that Lucius did. Now Narcissa's health was taking a turn for the worst. For the entire summer holiday she had been bed ridden. The healer came every day and was often called for at night when Narcissa was in terrible agony.

Draco entered his mother's bedroom. It was a large room but it was hot and stuffy. Narcissa had a terrible fever and felt so terribly cold that the fire was lit in the middle of August. The candles were all dimmed so the room was dark; this was because the bright light hurt her eyes.

In the large four poster bed, between many pillows and under heavy duvets and quilts the slight figure of Narcissa Black Malfoy rested. Her blonde hair had been tied in a plait to keep out of her face. Several potions were placed at her bed side table. A house elf was soaking a cloth in a bowl of water and damping Narcissa's brow, trying to get her temperature down. Narcissa lifted her hand slightly to shoo the elf when she saw Draco enter the room. Narcissa smiled weakly at her son and motioned for him to come closer.

Draco sat next to her at the edge of the bed.

"Hello darling" she whispered

"How are you feeling, mother?" he said solemnly, still shaken by the news of his Father's execution, however, expected it was.

"Oh, not so bad Draco darling, I've been worse" she took his hand weakly in her own. Draco tightened his grip reassuringly. Narcissa gave a weak laugh.

"Mother, the healer's on the way" he said

"I know Draco, I'm sorry to be such a burden"

"You're not a burden Mother don't say that"

"I heard an owl downstairs, did a letter come" she asked in attempted hopefulness

"No mother, just the daily prophet" Draco lied, there was no way he could tell his mother what happened, how could he, not when her life was falling apart so tragically.

"Oh" she said downheartedly "Anything interesting happen?"

"No not really, a mudblood was orphaned. They think Aunt Bellatrix might have killed her parents" Narcissa did not seem at all interesting by the news, but Draco saw a sad tear slip down her cheek "Is something the matter mother?"

"Draco…you know I love you more than anything in the world?"

"Yes mother"

"Good, you need to know that, I have always tried to give you the best I could, everything you needed to grow up healthy and accomplished like you are" Draco nodded, he was unsure where this conversation was leading "Draco have you ever wondered why you had not brothers or sisters?"

Draco shrugged "Father said that after I was born, you couldn't have anymore children"

Narcissa nodded and another tear fell down over her pale cheek "The truth is Draco…I can't have children at all"

Draco looked at his mother strangely and believed that the potions she had been taking were making her rather delusional.

"Mother that makes no sense, how could I have been born then?" he smirked.

Tears leaked out of Narcissa's eyes at a faster pace now. Draco's smirk dropped and he looked seriously at her and the penny dropped "You're not my mother are you?" he said. Narcissa looked at her son "I am, I love you like a son, I have treated you like a son all your life. You are my son"

"But not by blood?" said Draco

"No, not by blood" she repeated softly. Draco wrenched his hand out of his mother's. He got off the bed and walked over by the window. Draco felt so incredibly empty. He felt like an empty shell ready to crack. However, there was a possibility his mother was delusional from the fever. In a sudden spasm of rage Draco grabbed the large chintz curtains and dragged them down. They fell to the floor revealing the night sky outside the window. A beautiful full moon glistened right through the window and on to his "mother's" face. She squinted in the light and made a breathy moan. Draco looked at her in fury ready to shout. But as soon as he saw her cheeks wet with tears and the agony on her face of physical and emotional pain he softened.

"Draco I wouldn't have told you if it hadn't been for the fact that…I don't think I'll see morning" she said. Draco bit his bottom lip to stop the hot tears from spilling out his eyes.

"A-answer me this?" he stuttered "Is father…my real father?"

Narcissa Malfoy looked up at the boy she had raised since he was a baby. Who she had loved and doted on as if he was her own

"Are you implying that your Father had another woman?" she asked seriously "He would never do that to me!"

Draco looked at the ground "So Father isn't my father?"

"He is as much your Father as I am your Mother. We both love you and we consider you our only child"

"So you adopted me, when I was a baby? I could be anyone's child. ANY SCUM'S CHILD!" he yelled and kicked Narcissa's dressing table. Her mirror shuddered and the perfume bottles rattled fell and spilt their contents all over the floor and the woodwork.

Narcissa made a moan of agony and the house elf rushed to her. Draco looked over at her. Tears now covered his cheeks as he looked at her. She was in such terrible agony, and what was he doing? Shouting! If he had been kept ignorant he would have been comforting her now.

"Draco please, please forgive me, I didn't want to hurt you. ARRGHH!" she yelled in pain. Draco could not take it; he ran to Narcissa's side and grabbed her hand. Narcissa smiled weakly again but continued to wear her expression of agony.

The healer came, checked Narcissa over and gave Draco a look which said 'it's over.' Draco held his mother's hand through the entire night, when he noticed the night outside was turning to day.

"Mother" Draco said softly. Narcissa opened her blue eyes tiredly "You said you wouldn't see morning but-" he pointed out the window, the first hints of sunrise appeared. Narcissa gasped and she smiled so brightly. Draco felt her hand clasp his more tightly and he grinned and looked out at the sunrise. Just as he realised its beauty the hand that clasped his own became limp. Draco, dreading what he would see, looked down at Narcissa. Her blue eyes were empty and gone. The healer rushed to her side and began feeling for a pulse. He looked at Draco and shook his head. "I'm sorry" came his whisper.

Draco looked at his mother's eyes for the last time. He reached forward and closed her lids.


	2. Dealing With It

Chapter 2 - Dealing With It

Draco sat in the Hogwarts Express toilet compartment. He stood in front of the mirror trying hard to stop the tears flooding out of his eyes.

It turned out that Narcissa and Lucius had left Draco everything, the Manor, all the money, and all their belongings. As a seventeen year old, and of age, Draco had the right to living alone as master of the house. He had made his way to Kings Cross by himself. He had immediately thrown his things into his compartment and ran to the toilets. Mostly to escape Pansy, but the last thing he wanted was for Potter and his friends to see him crying.

Draco wiped his eyes with water and tissue but they still seemed red and puffy, oh well, he would just have to pretend he had a cold. No one would dare believe otherwise.

Draco left the toilet compartment and made his way to the Slytherin carriage. Suddenly he heard a voice

"Well well well" said the voice "This has to be the first time I've seen Malfoy without his bodyguards"

Draco glanced over his shoulder. It was Weasley, Potter and Granger walking up the carriages. He was in no mood for a fight, so continued walking. He heard a girl whispering. Granger. Then Weasley's voice again

"I don't give a damn if his parents died, all Malfoys are the same. Filthy Death Eaters, his mother too!"

That was it Draco, forgetting his wand ran straight as Weasley with his bare fists. Potter and Granger tried to pull them apart.

"Don't you dare, don't you dare talk about her like that, she never did anything to you" he yelled. Potter dragged him back of Weasley and through him against the carriage wall. Potter looked at him

"Malfoy, are you crying?" asked Potter in disbelief

"No" said Draco "Of course not" but he wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his robes. Granger bit her lip

"I'm sorry about your parents Draco" she said softly. She seemed unsure of how to comfort her worst enemy

"Why should you be sorry? You never knew them…you filthy little mudblood" That was uncalled for, after all, she was only trying to help

"Watch your mouth Malfoy; she was only tying to be nice" said Weasley

"Ron, Harry, lets go" said Granger walking off sadly. Her friends followed her.

--

Draco had ignored most of his Slytherin friends, however, they were too busy chatting about their own perfect lives to realise how upset he was. Naturally they comforted him about his 'parents' at first but Draco swatted them off like busy flies. They were unaware of the fact that the two people who had died bore no relation to him at all.

Draco sat silently throughout the sorting ceremony and felt to ill to eat. All he could think about was who were his real parents, were they kind, were they mean, were they rich, were they poor, were they… All these things bothered him,

Suddenly Draco felt a hand on his shoulder. Draco looked up

"Oh Professor Snape" Draco gave a half smile

"Come Draco, the Headmaster wishes to see us both in his office"

Draco gathered it must be to give sympathies on his "parent's" death. But why was Snape coming?

--

"Hello Mr Malfoy" said Dumbledore as Draco entered the office. "Severus"

Snape nodded at Dumbledore and took a seat.

"Hello Sir" Draco mumbled

"Draco, please take a seat. I have asked you to come to my office for two reasons. Firstly, I would like to present my dearest sympathies on the death of your parents, both of them" said Dumbledore. Draco nodded but he could not make eye contact with the headmaster "Another reason I have brought you here is to inform you of some information, which I do not believe you are aware of" Now Draco looked up "Now Mr. Malfoy I do not wish for you to get upset but it is my given duty to give you the news that-"

"I know" said Draco "My mother told, that I'm not their child"

Dumbledore raised his head slightly

"When did your mother tell you this?"

"Just before she-" Draco could not say it

Dumbledore nodded "I see"

"But sir" asked Draco "How did you know?"

"Professor Snape told me" said Dumbledore. Draco looked at his Professor

"Sir, how did you-"

"As your father's oldest friend, he seemed to think it the best idea that if anything happened to Narcissa or himself, it would be my duty to tell you the truth. As it happened, I am afraid I was too cowardice to break the news"

Dumbledore sighed

"I gather you probably have dozens of questions you wish to ask, and I will answer them if I can?"

Draco nodded.

"When was I adopted? I mean how old was I?" said Draco thinking of any random question.

"Only five months old, you would not remember the orphanage" said Dumbledore

"Who are my real family?" asked Draco

Dumbledore shook his head.

"I'm afraid I do not know off hand but it should not be too difficult to find them, someone handed you to the orphanage, you were not abandoned on your Mr and Mrs Malfoy's doorstep"

"Sir, how come if I'm not related to my…well-"

"Draco they looked after you as the best of parents could. I think you can still call them your Mother and Father, at least for now"

"Er…okay, well if I'm not related to my Mother and Father, why do I look so much like them?"

Dumbledore smiled.

"Well this is my theory on the matter. Your family led a rather traditional way of pureblood life didn't they?"

Draco nodded

"Well, you may or may not know that for a woman to not be able to bare children is looked down on terribly in pureblood society. However, your father loved your mother very much and did not allow that to get in the way of their marriage. I believe that is what you said Severus?"

Snape nodded

"Well they planned to adopt you and to stop people treating you any different to them they made you look like them with a simple potion or spell. I haven't had time yet to research one with such a long lasting effect. However, if you would like me to find a counter spell I can."

Draco thought about it

"Not yet sir" he replied "It would lead to awkward questions"

"Ah, so I take it you have not told anyone the truth yet"

"No one" said Draco

"Well we'll keep it like that as much as we can?" said Dumbledore.


	3. Who You Really Are

**Chapter 3 - Who you really are**

Draco's next few days past like an empty shell, his lessons did not make sense, the information just swam past him. He did not talk to his friends much and did not even show emotion when he caught his girlfriend Pansy kissing his friend Theodore Nott. Pansy pleaded with Draco that she had just felt that their relationship was not going anywhere and that Theodore had asked her out. Draco just nodded and agreed with her quietly. All those things that had once seemed important were suddenly insignificant, homework, teachers, detentions, Quidditch, girlfriends, all unimportant. The only important thing that happened that week took place on a Saturday afternoon.

Draco sat in front of Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore smiled at Draco

"How have you been coping Draco?" he asked. Draco shrugged miserably "Professor McGonagall said that you're already down for detention in your first week for twice not completing your homework. As this is your NEWTs year, I believe you should take your lessons seriously Draco"

Draco shrugged again "I just don't think schools that important anymore. I mean I can leave early this year can't I?"

"As you are of age now you have full right to abandon your seventh year…but I wouldn't recommend it. Why not give it a little longer; it may be because you are still in shock. Besides Professor Snape tells me that your mother was quite adamant about you completing your education?"

"She was but what does that matter now?" said Draco "She's gone"

"That depends on how you look at it, to me, I feel that our lost loved ones never really leave us, and I speak from experience. When you're as old as I am, you lose a lot of loved ones throughout your life. I would not give up on your mother that quickly Draco"

Draco sighed and looked away moodily

"Anyway Draco, the reason why I called you to my office was because I have found some valuable information, or I believe it could be valuable"

"What is it?" asked Draco

"Well, I have found the woman who brought you to the Orphanage"

"My real mother?" asked Draco sitting up

"No, not your mother, this orphanage has shut down now you see and they lost the records there of all the children. However, through a few other details I have found a woman who brought a baby, who I believe was you, to this orphanage seventeen years ago. Now she may have some information to share"

"When can we see her?" asked Draco anxiously

"Well if you're ready, we can go now?" said Dumbledore standing up

"Now?" repeated Draco

"Well she is expecting us? Do you not wish to go?" Draco stood up "Good, I thought you'd agree, I have opened the floo network from my office and her house just for tonight" said Dumbledore. Draco nodded excitedly "You may go after me"

Dumbledore took some floo powder from a pot and stood in his fireplace.

"Monica Feverlly's home" he said clearly. The green flames licked around him and he disappeared. Draco followed soon after.

---

Draco span out of the flames and into the Headmaster

"Sorry sir" he apologised

"No my fault entirely, I should put it down to experience to move away from the fireplace when someone else is behind me"

"No sir, I'm just not used to travelling by floo, my mother hated it you see and…well it doesn't matter now" said Draco. "Sir, where are we?"

"This is the house of Monica Feverlly"

Draco looked around the room. It was a living room with children's toys all over the floor, an old sofa and chair, a book shelf and a stained coffee table. Draco could hear a baby crying in another room.

The living room door burst open, a plump but pretty woman with auburn red hair and blue eyes entered. She was holding a crying baby on her hip and a three year old girl with blonde bunches was clinging to her leg.

"Hi Professor, sorry about this, Alex has got a cold, he won't stop crying!" she said jangling the screaming baby on her hip.

"That's quite alright Mrs Feverlly, uh, this is one of my students. Mrs Feverlly, Draco, Draco, Monica Feverlly.

"Hi Draco" she said leaning across and shaking his hand

"Hello" said Draco

"Here come take a seat in the kitchen, I'll make some tea. Louisa play with your toys, Mummy needs to talk with Professor Dumbledore for a while" Monica untangled her daughter's hands from her leg and the little girl ran over to her toys.

--

"So professor, what can I do for you?" she said placing mugs of tea on the table

"Well Mrs Feverlly I was hoping you could share a little information on one of your old careers"

"Which one?" she asked placing her baby in a high chair

"You worked for an orphanage did you not?"

"Several, why?"

"Well do you remember ever transferring a baby, perhaps only a few months old from one orphanage to another?"

Monica looked thoughtfully.

"Yes I did, only once though, I was only eighteen. What happened was there was a baby in a muggle orphanage I was working in, now the baby showed very early signs of magical power, I thought it only right to transfer him"

Draco gathered that this must be the wrong child they were talking about. Dumbledore had made a mistake about Monica Feverlly, stupid old man, Draco thought to himself. That's what his father used to say about him.

"So, the baby was adopted not long after that?" asked Dumbledore

"Don't know, never worked at the place he was transferred too, quite a good baby though so I don't see why not. What's this about Professor?"

"Well this is where Draco comes in, Draco do I have your permission to tell Monica your story?"

"But sir, there's no need to tell her anything is there. With all due respect Mrs Feverlly, I think we've come to the wrong place"

"How so Draco?" asked Dumbledore

Draco laughed thinking this a joke

"Well the baby was obviously not me, why the hell would I be in a Muggle orphanage? I'm pureblood" said Draco

"Ah, but how do you know for sure. Yes the Malfoys were pureblood and you have grown up with them but you do not know your actual parentage"

"I refuse to believe that I am a mudblood!" he said firmly. Monica gasped at his language

"Draco, please do not use that offensive term."

"And" Draco continued, ignoring Dumbledore "Mother and Father would never have adopted me if I wasn't pureblood"

"But how would they know Draco? You showed your magical powers very early in life that is rare for any witch or wizard. Your parents probably put it down to the fact that you were a pureblood. But naturally we know, that blood does not determine the skills in magic"

Draco seethed at the old man and threw himself out of his chair.

"I've had enough; finding out that I wasn't a Malfoy was unbelievable enough. I refuse to believe I'm a mudblood"

"Draco! Do you not wish to find your real family?"

"Not if they're bloody muggles I don't!" he yelled. Monica then shot out of her chair

"Whats wrong with muggles? I'm a muggle born! My whole family are muggles! You need to put this Death Eater attitude behind you if you want to find out who you really are!" she yelled.

The baby in the high chair began crying again. Monica immediately went to him.

Draco stood stunned.

"Monica, do you think you would be able to find the documents from the muggle orphanage. Since magical orphanages do not deal with documents from muggle orphanages Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy never had anything to say who his mother was, all we could find was your name"

"Yeah shouldn't be too hard. Tell you what, I'll find them and owl them to you. I think Mr Malfoys had enough for one day" she said


	4. Thank you

**Chapter 4 - Thank you**

Draco flicked through the large leather bound book and flicked through the pages. He found the names he was looking for:

**Narcissa Black Malfoy born 1966 **linked with a double line to **Lucius Malfoy born 1963 **leading down with a single line to **Draco Malfoy born 1984.**

Draco sighed, another book not updated. He placed the book on the rather large pile of others and levitated them over to, Madame Pince, the librarian's desk. He slammed them down with his wand. She jumped in shock as her papers flew about. Half the library looked up interested to see the commotion

"Really dear, was that necessary?" said Madame Pince looking up angrily at Draco as she gathered her papers together

"These books haven't been updated" he complained

"Oh?"

"Yes, if you look here-" Draco opened one of the books and pointed to the names of his parents "You see, it only has their births written down. Their deaths aren't recorded. I think they should be" Draco ordered

"Well dear, I can't do that now can I…they will be soon" she was feeling rather scared. The tall seventh year seemed so angry and crazed that she did not wish to say anything that might anger him. It was obvious his parents were dead. "Why don't you put them back on the shelf?"

"Why don't I leave them here and then you won't forget about them" he said walking off.

He was walking past a book shelf when he heard a whisper

"Malfoy!" came a girl's hushed voice

Draco looked over to see a bushy haired girl holding a book partly in front of her face.

"What?" Draco whispered back. Granger motioned with her hand for him to come towards her. He did so

"Malfoy…are you alright?"

"I'm fine…is that all"

Granger shook her head

"I just wanted to say, I'm really sorry about your parents and I'm so sorry about Ron's behaviour. That was wrong of him"

"Yes it was" said Draco. He stormed off.

"Look Malfoy…I've never liked you" she said catching up with him "and I sure know you don't like me but…if you ever need someone to talk to-"

Draco rolled his eyes and continued walking

--

Granger had her quill in her hand and was scratching away so fast at her parchment that Draco could barely see the quill. He had been pondering what Granger had said. If it **was** true that his parents were muggles, then all the insulting comments he had thrown at her before were hypocritical and false, for that would mean he was the same as her.

"Mr. Malfoy how much work have you done?" came a sharp voice. Draco rolled his eyes and looked up to see McGonagall glaring at him. Some of the class stopped writing and turned around. "How much?" she repeated

Draco raised an unsmirking eyebrow at her. McGonagall looked down at his parchment; it was completely bare of any writing. "Could you gather your things together please Mr Malfoy, and leave my class room!" She walked away over to her desk. Draco picked up his quill and hurried a quick note on a spare bit of parchment

_**Granger,**_

_**Meet me behind the wall near the Herbology greenhouses at lunch**_

_**D.M**_

_**Ps. come alone!**_

He folded it into his fist and threw his belongings into his school bag. He threw back his chair and walked down the aisle between the desks. As he went past Granger's table he threw the little piece of parchment onto her desk, so quickly that no one would notice.

--

Draco leaned miserably against the wall, what was he getting himself into. What if she downright laughed in his face?

There she was. Her chestnut brown hair was bouncing on her shoulders as she ran over to him.

"You wanted to see me Malfoy?"

"Are you alone?" he asked making sure her little boyfriends were not hanging around.

"Yes, but why all the secrecy, Malfoy?"

"It would do neither your or my reputation any good for us to be seen together, besides, there is something I need to discuss with you…a secret?"

Granger looked curious; she looked down at the grass

"Let's sit down. Perhaps that will make it easier for you" she said

Draco nodded and the two sat down on the grass. Momentarily in silence

"You know how I've always called you mudblood?" he started. She nodded. "Well it was never anything really personal. That's just the way I've been raised and…"

"Stop the flattery Malfoy, it doesn't work on me. What do you want?"

"Well…uh, when I my mother died…she told me something. Something which has changed my life forever" Granger looked up at him with her big brown eyes curiously "My mother told me that…that I wasn't her child or my father's child"

"W-what?" said Granger, her eyes wide "You mean you and Lucius Malfoy aren't related?"

"**_Weren't_** related Granger if you hadn't noticed he's dead now!" said Draco icily

"Sorry" she said blushing

"Professor Dumbledore, Snape and I have been trying to find out who my real parents are…and…well they think I'm a mudblood"

Granger gasped

"But they could be wrong?"

"I was found in a muggle orphanage…only a muggle would put their child in a muggle orphanage!"

Granger looked like she wanted to burst out laughing but was concealing it very well.

"Malfoy, why are you telling **me** all this? Is it because I'm muggle born?"

Draco sighed and nodded.

"And I've realised that calling you mudblood must seem really hypocritical now you know the truth"

Granger shook her head

"Put it in the past" she smiled.

"Thank you" said Draco

"No…thank you"


	5. Journal

**Chapter 5 -**

"Are you staying for Christmas this year?" asked Ron to his friends "'Cause Mum says you're welcome to come to our place again"

"That's sounds great" said Harry "But I don't mind where I go, as long as it's with you guys…Hermione?" Harry asked

"Hmm?" asked Hermione absent mindedly, turning to her friend

"Are you alright?" Ron asked

"Yes I'm fine. Sorry I was miles away, what did you say Harry?"

"Well, are you staying at Hogwarts for Christmas or going with your parents. Ron's mum has invited us to the Burrow again

"Uh…well I'm really not sure yet. I have to write to my Mum and Dad" Hermione said vaguely. She wondered where Draco Malfoy would be going to Christmas this year.

Hermione had been thinking about Malfoy for a while now, ever since he told her the truth. As much as she had spent her entire school life hating every part of his ferrety existence, she could not help but feel sorry for him. She could not imagine what it would be like to lose one's parents. Harry had, but he barely knew them. So although he wished he could meet them again, there was no real loss.

Although her magical powers had cut Hermione off from her parents quite a bit, she always knew at the back of her mind, that they were there for her. They always would be. Draco had no one.

--

At the beginning of the year, Draco had been made Slytherin Quidditch Captain. Although, it made little difference to him, when holding the shiny green badge, all he could think about was what his parents' reactions would have been. His Father's curt nod, and the small speech about; how he had to work hard to keep it, but not forget his other studies. A speech, which, at the time, would have bored Draco to tears…oh how he would give anything to hear that speech again. His Mother's smile, her eyes tearful with pride; hugging him and congratulating him over and over again.

Draco sighed; he clutched his broomstick tightly in his hand and marched across the Quidditch field, coming face to face with Potter. Potter glared at Malfoy with unmistakable hate. Draco returned the glare.

The shook hands coldly, letting go as quickly as they both could.

The game was uneventful; Draco did not even try to win.

--

_**20th December 1997**_

_I have found this old blank book in our library. It's empty so I am using it to write down my every day thoughts. I try to think of it as a journal rather than a diary. Father would have preferred that. _

_I am not doing this for some silly reason that I have no one else to talk to, it's just I'd rather not talk to anyone. According to Professor Dumbledore, writing in a journal makes a great relief; more so than a penseive._

_Father always hated Dumbledore, if he had been told to do something like this, he would have probably gone purposely against him._

_I have chosen to go back to the Manor for Christmas, I would rather be alone. I heard that Harry Potter and his Weasel were considering staying at Hogwarts for the holiday. Another run in would probably not have been a good idea; especially after my little incident with Granger. _

_I have never met a more understanding person. I don't mean I'm in love with her or anything; the very idea makes my skin crawl. But it is just the fact that she could have laughed in my face. I'm sure she wished to, but she contained herself rather well. The truth is; I despise hypocrisy. I hate it when a half blood preaches for the purification of the Wizarding world. Just as I despise purebloods preaching for liaising with muggles. That is why I told her the truth. I am not a hypocrite. This does not mean I love muggles! It means that I just will not continue to spout pureblood beliefs. Not aloud anyway._

_**21st December 1997**_

_Dumbledore wrote to me today, that Feverlly woman apparently has been having some trouble finding my documents. I mean what was the point in telling me that. Telling me that my birth has been covered up really doesn't help._

_I cancelled my Mother's magazine subscriptions today. . _

_**22nd December 1997**_

_It's very lonely in the house at the moment, the snow's quite thick so I can't hear anything much outside. It's too cold to go out anyway. I've had a few Christmas Owls from family friends and school friends. The mantelpiece seems very empty now._

_I didn't do that much today, I went to the library and read a book, then I fell asleep by the fire. _

_I had a chat with mother's portrait yesterday; I decided not to ask her about my past. It appears little of her thoughts were contained in her painting. Father would not approve of such questions either._

_**23rd December 1997**_

_The documents arrived, I am writing down some of the details on my birth certificate_

_**Name: Jack Alexander Michaels**_

**_Time and Date of Birth: June 5th 1980 - 14:23_**

**_Mother: Loraine Jennifer Michaels _**

_**Father: Unknown**_

_**Born: St. Mary's Hospital - London**_

_Well, it appears as though I am illegitimate, my name is Jack Alexander Michaels. I was born in London and my mother is called Loraine Jennifer Michaels. My birth date is the same._

_I was put into a muggle orphanage about three days after my birth; I was then transferred to a Wizarding orphanage at five months old by Monica Feverlly, after early signs of raw magic. I was then adopted by "Mr. Lucius Abraxas Malfoy and Mrs. Narcissa Black Malfoy" at seven months old._

_You have noticed by my tone there is little emotion. I gave up in feeling emotion in this matter. I have learnt to accept it. There is little I can do about it after all. Although, a little surprised and upset to see "Father unknown" I have to take it that this is why I was put into an orphanage._

_I did receive a somewhat larger shock, in my documents I found out that my Mother (Loraine Jennifer Michaels) was only fifteen when she had me. Which, I find rather repulsive. Father always despised teenage pregnancies with a vengeance._

_**24th December 1997**_

_Dumbledore came again today, he gave me the address of my birth mother. By the way she is no longer called Loraine Jennifer Michaels but Loraine Jennifer Williams. _

_Mrs Loraine Jennifer Michaels Townsen_

_23 Tallis Road _

_Laindon_

_Essex_

_England_

_Obviously she is married now; Dumbledore also said that from his research she has two children of eight and five with her husband, Ralph Townsen, they also have joint custody of the children from her husband's previous marriage, a boy and a girl who are fourteen and twelve._

_So I now have a blood mother, a stepfather, two half siblings and two stepsiblings. It is a little strange to know that I have brothers and sisters. After all I have always been raised an only child._


	6. Loraine

_AN: Sorry it's not long enough, I was trying to link it to what will now be chapter 7. It just didn't work, sorry_

**Chapter 6 - Loraine**

In Dumbledore's letters to Draco, he had expressed his utter most feelings against Draco finding his mother yet. Dumbledore told Draco that the shock could be too great for her, she may even not wish to him. A memory she had been trying to block out for 17 years would not be welcomed if it turned up on her doorstep.

Draco nodded to Dumbledore and pretended to agree.

However, it would be his choice. And Dumbledore knew it.

On Christmas morning Draco took out the tanzanite bracelet he had planned to give to Pansy and placed it in a small box, tied with a ribbon. Taking out his quill, he wrote on the tag "To Loraine from Jack"

He was not entirely sure why he wrote 'Jack;' but it seemed right. Somehow he was unable to write 'Mother' though.

Sometime after a small Christmas lunch by himself Draco sat and opened a few presents his friends had sent him and a few various family members. Mostly for sympathy. It surprised Draco to realise how much his family could not be bothered with him, but only his parents. Now they were gone, it was as if he had never existed to people like Aunt Bellatrix and Uncle Rudolphus.

Funnily enough though, Draco received a Christmas owl from Hermione Granger.

A simple card, but oh so appreciated.

Draco then made the decision to apparate to Essex.

--

It was a quiet street, very suburban; there was no snow, not like how it was in Wiltshire. It was the magic from the Manor that caused it to snow so much there. There was a soft and empty silence that flowed up and down the road. Everybody was in the quiet of their homes, spending time with their families. Draco glanced at the street sign. 'Tallis Street' he read. The crisp wind pulled forwards, he wrapped his coat tighter around him and walked forward.

'26, 25, 24…22'

The door would not have stood out near the other semidetached houses, if Draco had not known what was behind it. Behind that door stood the woman who had carried him for nine months and had just let him go within three days of his natural life. Draco sighed. What would she say? What would she look like? Was she pretty? Was she ugly? Was she kind? Was she common? Did she have blonde hair or perhaps brown? What colour were her eyes? Was she fat? Was she thin? Would she scream? Would she cry?

Draco knocked on the door and sighed, there was a muffled sound of children laughing and family merriment. Suddenly the door opened. Draco looked down to see a small eight year old girl with strawberry blonde hair and big blue eyes. She looked up at Draco, her mouth slightly open

"Hello" said Draco nervously, was this one of his sisters?

"I'm not allowed to speak to strangers" she said wisely

"Ah" said Draco nodding, that was the same thing that his adopted mother would tell him when he was her age. "Well, I'm not a stranger exactly" Draco explained

"Oh" she said

"Tell me, is your mother home?"

"Yes, Mummy's upstairs, the Christmas pudding is on fire so I opened the door" she said, her eyes as big as saucepans

"So you did. Is your mother called Loraine?" asked Draco curiously

"Yes…do you want to speak to her?" Did he? Draco thought. He looked down the street, looking for an escape route, nothing but a road, he thought miserably. The girl cocked her head to one side "I'll get Mummy" she said turning away from the door and running into the little hallway. Draco immediately took the little box out of his pocket and placed it on the door step, then instantly jumped away from the door, took a quick glance around to check no one could see him. Then pulled out his wand and cast a disillusionment charm on himself. He hid flat against the brick wall, so that his chameleon form could not possibly be noticed. Draco waited a moment of two, his heart pounding against his chest, then his heart seemed to disappear completely as he saw a woman appear out of the door, she was medium height, perhaps a little shorter than Draco. She had light brown hair pulled back in a pony tail. Her eyes were a delicate pale green. She was quite pretty, her rosy cheeks and freckles gave her a rather youthful appearance. She looked down at the little box and picked it up, she read the tag. Her eyes furrowed and then she looked up she stepped down the doorstep and looked out at the road, her eyes scanning the street for some kind of movement. She placed a hand over her mouth and looked at the box carefully. A tear ran down her face, but she wiped it away instantly. Draco could not believe what he was seeing. This was her, this was the woman who had left him. This was his mother.

Draco saw the little girl who must have been his sister join their mother at the doorstep. She grabbed Loraine's arm and pulled her in the house. Loraine smiled weakly and followed.

When the door was closed, Draco removed the disillusionment charm and walked away. He had not been brave enough to speak to her. Bloody coward, Draco accused himself. He ran a gloved hand through his platinum hair and walked up the road. Perhaps another time, he thought. Draco dawdled down the road…unbeknown to him; he was being watched from a living room window, of number 23 Tallis Road.


	7. The Greatest Christmas Present

**Chapter 7 - The Greatest Christmas Present**

Who was that, thought Lorraine to herself. She had not seen him down the road when she had just been there, had he been hiding? And what of this present, signed "Jack". There was only one Jack that Loraine knew. A sudden glimpse of a tiny crying baby in her arms flashed to her mind. She shut her eyes and swallowed.

"Lorrie?" came her husband's voice. Loraine looked over at him

"Yes" she raised her eyes

"What's up?" he asked joining her and placing a hand on her back.

"Nothing" she said smiling

"Who was at the door?"

"No one"

"No one?" repeated her husband

"Just a neighbour wishing us merry Christmas"

"Oh, Annie said she didn't recognise him" said her husband

"Did she? Well perhaps she wasn't concentrating, you know how kids are" Loraine shrugged.

"Mm" said Ralph, he kissed her hair.

"Ralph, I'm going to take a little walk, you know, to let my food go down and all" said Loraine. Really she wanted to go somewhere private and open the box.

"Sure babe." Said Ralph "Take a coat though…it's a bit chilly" he patted her shoulder. He then suddenly turned around and swooped a five year old boy into his arms and walked over with him to the Christmas tree.

Loraine ran through the background of the house without being noticed. She grabbed her coat, which she had very cleverly dropped the little box into the pocket of when she came back into the house.

--

When Loraine was part way down the road, she took the box out of her coat pocket and began untying the ribbon. She gasped as she pulled out a very delicate silver bracelet; it shimmered almost _magically _in the dim near-evening light. The tiny blue tanzanite jewels were place perfectly amongst the silvery chain. This could never be the Jack she barely knew…he would not have given her such a gift after what she did to him.

_Flashback_

_A fifteen year old girl held the tiny baby in her arms, while her mother sat tight lipped beside the hospital bed not looking at either of the figures in the bed. _

_"Mum" the girl said softly. Her mother did not answer, nor did she make any type of response to say that she heard her daughter. "Look Mum I know you're angry…but look at him…just look at him" she almost wept. The blue eyes of the tiny baby looked up at his mother naively "And he's your grandson…your flesh and blood mum" _

_End of Flashback._

Loraine felt tears come to her eyes, but she bit them back. Without noticing where she was going, she had walked write down the end of her street, towards where the old church and graveyard was.

There was a teenage boy sitting on the wall, writing in a large book, a novelty quill pen in his hand.

She squinted at the young man and walked quickly forwards.

"Excuse me" she called out. The boy stood up suddenly like a frightened cat. He dropped his journal and hurried to pick it up. "Hey wait don't go" she said running towards him.

Draco stopped there was no escape…it was the moment of truth; he turned and looked at the woman who was his mother.

"Hello" she said awkwardly. Draco nodded and bowed his head slightly

"Hello" he replied

"Look…I'm sorry if I've got the wrong person" her voice was nothing like Narcissa Malfoy's soft well spoken accent, it was rough…almost cockney. "But I found this on my door stop…and you're the only one I saw around here" she raised her hand to show him the tanzanite bracelet "Did you give it to me?"

Draco looked at the bracelet, sighed and nodded.

"Are you Jack?" she asked, tears coming to her eyes.

Draco stood still on the spot.

He nodded.

"Oh my" she gasped holding her hands over her mouth "You're him…you're my…my baby?" she cried, tears flowing down her cheeks "You found me"

--

"I only just found out I was adopted" he sighed as he walked with her along the road "My mother told me on her death bed"

"I'm sure your parents loved you very much" she sighed hugging her body tightly

Draco nodded

"Whats your name now" she asked suddenly "Do they call you Jack"

Draco shook his head

"I'm Draco Lucius Malfoy"

"Now that's a posh name" she said smiling slightly "Where do you live?"

"Wiltshire…in the family Manor"

"Bet it's nice" she said encouragingly

"Yes…it is" he replied softly "Quiet at the moment though"

"What school you go to? Eton or something?"

"What…no…it's…it's complicated"

"What?" she asked

"Look…there's lots of things I can't tell you yet. My Headmaster will explain…soon"

"Your headmaster?"

"Yeah….its really really complicated" he explained

"Oh right" she said confused, she sniffed as she wiped a tear "I still can't get over the fact that you're here…I was sure I'd…that I'd never see you again"

Draco smirked

"You can't get rid of me that easily"

She laughed but then sobered almost too suddenly

"I didn't want to you know…I would have kept you"

"Then why didn't you?" he asked, it was not that he wished he had been brought up by Loraine Michaels but he was curious how a mother could give up her baby

"I…I was only fifteen. My mother told me that you'd have no life with me. She wasn't going to help…and I didn't even know who your Dad was…he was just some guy at a party I got the wrong idea about" she shrugged "I'm bloody stupid" she explained before bursting into tears

"No…don't cry" said Draco "Think how bad your life would have been if you had kept me. You're married now…and you've got more children, don't you"

"Y-yes"

"If you'd kept me…would you have them now?"

"…no…I guess not"

"Exactly" he shrugged "What are they like…my brothers and sisters?"

Loraine sniffed

"Well…there's Annie…she's a typical little girl...you saw her didn't you"

Draco nodded "She's a lovely little thing…I'm sure you'll love her. Then there's Edmund, he's only five…beautiful little boy…loves to eat" she laughed

"And what about my step-siblings?"

"Morgan and Adam" she smiled "They live with us sometimes…their mum isn't very maternal" she explained indifferently "I treat them like my own. Morgan is a tomboy…she loves sports…just like her brother…he's a lovely boy"

"Do they know…about me?" Draco asked curiously

"My husband does. He told me that you're the past…and I should look forward…I don't suppose he thought you'd turn up one Christmas day"

"Yeah…about that…I'm sorry to barge in on your Christmas-"

"No, I love the fact you've come here, it's the best Christmas present I've ever had" she laughed "Do you…do you want to come in?" she stopped and pointed to the house. They were back already

"Um" Draco murmured thoughtfully "It might come as a bit of a shock to them"

"Yeah…you're right" she nodded "Do you want to meet up…tomorrow or something, when you're free. I can break the news to them some time soon"

Draco nodded

"I think that will be best" he nodded nervously

"Goodbye Jack…or Draco" she shrugged, she made to hug him…but seemed to find the situation awkward and changed her sudden movement into smoothing down her top. She turned around and walked over to the house

"Goodbye….Mum" he whispered


End file.
